[SKINNER'S MOTHER]
Heeeeelp! HEEEEEEEELP!!!
(Superintendent Chalmers starts to walk towards Principal Skinner as he stands in front of his burning house)
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say - you steam a good ham.
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
No, mother, it's just the Northern Lights.
[SKINNER'S MOTHER]
Seymour! The house is on fire!
(Principal Skinner leads Superintendent Chalmers inside his house)
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
No.
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
May I see it?
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Yes.
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
A---Aurora Borealis? At this time of year! At this time of day! In this part of the country! Localized entirely within your kitchen?!?
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Aurora Borealis.
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
GOOD LORD! What is happening in there?
(Superintendent Chalmers notices the fire through the swinging kitchen door)
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Yes, I should be---
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
(Principal Skinner yawns and opens the kitchen door walking inside. As the door swings open, it is clear that the kitchen is no longer on fire. He walks back out and sits at the table)
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Of course.
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Y-- You know th-- One thing I sh-- 'Scuse me for one second...
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Yes, and you call them steamed hams, despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Yes.
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
For steamed hams?
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Oh ho ho ho no! Patented Skinner Burgers; Young family recipe!
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
(Superintendent Chalmers takes a bite from the hamburger)
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
I see.
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Oh, not in Utica, no, it's an Albany expression.
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'.
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Uhhh-upstate New York?
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Uh-huh. What region?
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Yes! It's a regional dialect.
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
D'oh no, I said Steamed Hams! That's what I call hamburgers.
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
I thought we were having steamed clams.
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
(Principal Skinner leaves the kitchen from the windowsill and runs across the road into Krusty Burger to return the hamburgers)
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Whew...
(Superintendent Chalmers enters the kitchen)
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Uh... Ooh! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm. Steamed Clams!
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Superintendent, I was just-- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
SEYMOUR!!!!!!!
[THEME SONG]
Skinner, with his crazy explanations,
The Superintendent's gonna need his medication.
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town - tonight.
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Uh--
(Superintendent Chalmers leaves the kitchen as Principal Skinner re-enters it through the window. Principal Skinner then puts on his apron.)
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
GASP! Oh egods! My roast is ruined! But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Oh ho ho ho ho ho! Delightfully devilish, Seymour.
(Principal Skinner exits into the dining room)
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Nyeh...
[PRINCIPAL SKINNER]
Ahhh, Superintendent Chalmers! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
[SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS]
Well, Seymour, I made it... Despite your directions.
(Doorbell rings) |
Young Family Recipe
id:
12850256
Splatoon 2 (Switch) UK National Championship Qualifier #2